Resilience: What does it look like?

Hello Readers...

Today, I received a phone call from a reporter from the Philadelphia Inquire Daily News in Pennsylvania. She told me about a murder in Pennsylvania. A woman was murdered by her ex boyfriend while her children watched.

I was simply mortified when I received the news. I told her that my heart goes out to the victims, especially the children who watched. I prayed for their safety.

I was walking my mentee to the bus stop in order for him to get home when I heard the news. He too like these children lost his mom to domestic violence. His mother was murdered just two weeks ago as his twelve year-old brother watched. He survived a near strangulation by the killer and was able to get to the neighbors for help.

The reporter asked me what are the children feeling and going through right now. I told her the children's lives have been ripped from them. These children are terrified and absolutely lost and confused. There are no words to describe what happened today. There are no comforting feelings. It is a frightening world right now.

But like me, I too was lost. I had the same feelings losing my mother and brother. Although I was happy to be alive I felt like I was made to part with her and my brother. I left my childhood right there in the room where my mother and brother died right before my eyes. It was a massacre.

What I teach my new mentees is that there is a better day ahead for them. I teach them to cope, I show them love and patience and I validate their experience and feelings. I care. I understand how difficult this could be for them. If they were anything like me, they are devastated and empty and quite worthless. I have been there.

I have been to a place so far I did not think I was going to get a chance to ever come back. I made it this far though. I held on to a little hope. Somebody reached out to me. My grandmother saved us. She saved my brothers, sister and me.

These children need immediate help and stability. They are unstable and need comforting, but many children feel like they have been separated from security. I was too. I only had the clothes on my back when I was allowed to leave that house. It was terrifying.

Our struggles go on and our souls continue to fight. This world is full of violence and it doesn't seem like there is relief in sight. It may look like it makes no sense, but what does make sense is having those around you who love you and help to give you hope. That makes sense. These young men pressing on with their lives makes sense.

To my mentees and to all of the wonderful team players who work on behalf of victims...thank you.

That's what resilience looks like. Despair answered by hope is the answer.

Til next time...

Tribute to Michael Jackson

My friends,

I must be very honest about the influence Michael Jackson had on my life and my art.  Growing up, I listened and danced to MJ's songs and videos anytime I heard it.  My mother would encourage me to get in front of all the family and perform.  Before then, I did not have any idea that I could sing.  At least I cannot remember.  Michael will be forever missed by me and countless friends I know.  Many may believe that his legacy is mixed, but Michael was only convicted of being a true humanitarian.  It is unfortunate that he had to travel down such a hurtful and difficult road, but he made it through to receive such a fitting tribute today by his family, friends and fans.

I was quite mixed during his trial and previous allegations of child molestation, but who am I to judge?  I thought long and hard about it and I settled on the fact that Michael was never convicted of these allegations and after all, who would want to subject themselves to an embarrassing trial?  I respect Michael and his contribution to this world truly deserves more than what we gave him.  We all live in glass houses and when we least expect it, we are constantly put on trial ourselves.  What do we expect from others when that happens?  A little mercy and understanding goes a long way.

My prayers go out to his children, family and countless people who knew and loved him.  I wish only the best for Michael's soul as it travels to endless places such as that great place we all can only contemplate -- a heaven.  

R.I.P. Michael.  Many blessings.  Thank you for your contribution.

Til next time...

Two Young Men Survive Through the Ultimate Tragedy

Readers...

I had a moving conversation with a family today that had me in absolute tears.  My heart is so heavy having connected to this family.

The story...

Two young men, 15 and 17, awakened to the sound of a phone ringing, a mobile phone that they shared that their mother had provided for them.  They missed the phone call and had to listen to the voicemail.  What they heard would be the most tragic thing they ever heard in their lives.

Their father left a message telling them that he had killed their mother and that he was going to kill himself.  He wished them a good life, then killing himself.  

The children confirmed the death of their mother from their visit to the murder site.  It was devastating.

Today, they were able to tell me their story over the phone.  I listened as they told me the difficult story of their mother's death.  I told them my story.  Their uncle listening intently, all the while, giving all of us support.

I was so inspired by their resilience today.  They were so strong to discuss the murder today.  

I simply wanted to reach out my hand and give them so much support for their loss.  If people who murdered only knew how much they were impacting others' lives, they would not kill.

These young men are scarred for life.  But, I told them that together we will get through this. 

Not to mention, their uncle and aunt also lost a son.  He was also killed.  

There is so much work to do.  It starts now.  I encourage you to be strong out there and make sure that you have a plan for leaving your relationship.  Safety is the key.  Both my mother and these young men's mother did not have the proper tools in order to make a decision to leave.  

For a safety plan, go to www.afterthetrauma.com.  Mildred Muhammed has a book that you can buy that has a plan in it.  I am developing my own book and safety plan as well.  It is imperative that we provide others with tools to strengthen and rebuild their lives.

Thanks for your energy and time.

Til next time...

What I Am Up To -- Changing the World By Changing Me

It's been a while since I blogged and it's been quite busy for me lately. There are so many opportunties and events to attend. Working diligently on behalf of several causes is exciting. There was one time in my life when I could not even see straight. I could not envision my life taking shape and being positive. So, I am grateful for this day. This is a day when I can rejoice and be glad that I have an opportunity for another chance to make a difference in life. Have you made that choice? What is your choice today? Are you in a dilemma that precludes you from making a positive choice in life? Well, it is time to make a decision to be strong, have courage to reach deep inside of you -- pulling that survival instinct out and going for it. And, that's what I have been doing lately. I am involved in many positive projects and I value my work. I know that it is tough, but we must reach out for help if we feel stressed and motivate ourselves.

Next week, I address a room full of practitioners and professionals in the area of victims assistance. Over 500 folks will be listening to me tell my story of tragedy. They will listen to what happened and what did I do to turn things around. What tools did I use? Who helped me? I am excited about giving this group tools that they can use in order to help rebuild lives in their communities and on their jobs. That's what life is all about. Being there for others is key.

Thanks to the National Center for Victims of Crime and to the Office for Victims of Crime within the Department of Justice, Justice Programs for allowing me to be a small part of the effort to educate and learn from professionals for the benefit of victims who are suffering as we speak.

Til next time...

Violence in Chicago finds a Another Combatant

Hello Readers...

Last evening I addressed an amazing group of people for a great cause. Alderman/Committeeman Sandi Jackson and 7th Ward Independent Political Organization hosted a benefit to Stop the Violence. The program was held at The Park At Fourteenth on 14th Street, N.W., downtown D.C.

Anwan "Big G" Glover of HBO's The Wire, began the program with a welcome and introduction of Bonita Parker, Chief of Staff for Alderman Sandi Jackson. Following was a blissful and beautiful rendition of Lift Ev'ry Voice and Sing by Jessica Gabrielle Chambliss.

Then, I spoke. My message was rooted in bringing attention to violence and the impact that violence has on victims and survivors. I asked those in attendance to ensure that they reached out to those in need.

Kouri Marshall, A. Scott Bolden, Ronald Moten and Jauhar Abraham all made touching and heartfelt speeches. Peaceoholics, Moten and Abraham acknowledged graduates who were once a part of their program to engage and educate youth.

Alderman Jackson made a riveting speech. She held everyone accountable to being involved in the community and making a difference.

Lastly, Rachel Crouch and Charles Jean-Pierre presented paitings to Alderman Jackson.

The event turned out to be a great event to benefit victims of violence in Chicago.

Let's continue to be vigilant in our efforts to end violence in our communities. It takes us working together and taking responsibility for our community in order to make a difference.

Til next time...

Praises for a Young Activist - Ronnie Mosley (Chicago)

Good day Readers:

I just read a story about a young man who is making a difference in Chicago. He is 17 year Ronnie Mosley who lives in Chicago. Ronnie lost his best friend to gun violence two years ago and has been an advocate against gun violence ever since. I am truly inspired by his fight and applaud his efforts to rally his colleagues in school and in the community to stop accepting violence in his community.

This is what eliminating violence is all about. It is within us to combat this conundrum. We have to support and develop comprehensive strategies and ways to deal with violence instead of relegating it to the authorities. We must work together as a community to bring attention and awareness to the issue. Only then will we be able to own up to our responsibilitiy of protecting our community.

We need more Ronnie Mosleys to speak out and express dismay with our fellow citizens. We will not and cannot accept the violence.

I simply had to say what was on my mind tonight. I felt compelled to make a statement supporting Ronnie and what he is doing in Chicago.

Additionally, I wanted to make everyone aware that I am speaking on Thursday evening at 6:30 p.m. Alderman Sandy Jackson's event in Washington, D.C. The event is at 1301 K Street, N.W., Washington, D.C. Alderman Jackson will be addressing the violence in our community and communities throughout the country.

National Crime Victims' Rights Week

Each April since 1981, the Office of Victims of Services (OVS) has helped lead communities throughout the country in their observances of National Crime Victims’ Rights Week (NCVRW). Rallies, candlelight vigils, and a host of commemorative activities are held each year to promote victims' rights and to honor crime victims and those who advocate on their behalf (please view last year’s video).

National Crime Victims' Rights Week, April 19-24, 2008. Justice for Victims. Justice for All.

This year, Kenny Barnes, Sr. has been nominated by the United States Department of Justice Office for Victims of Crime - to receive the National Service Award for work being done on behalf of victims of crime.

Kenny wishes to extend an invitation to you, family, friends, or if you know of anyone who has been victimized by crime to participate in the events during National Crime Victims’ Rights Week, and to be sure and attend the Awards Ceremony.

National Observance & Candlelight Ceremony
Thursday April 23rd 6:30pm - 7:30pm
The US Chamber of Commerce
1615 H Street, NWWashington, DC

National Crime Victims’ Rights Week Awards Ceremony
Friday April 24th 1:30pm – 3:30pm
Andrew W. Mellon Auditorium1301 Constitution Avenue, NWWashington, DC
A number of my friends have decided to hold a reception after the Awards Ceremony this Friday on the rooftop of The Ellington, with its beautiful view overlooking the city. From my understanding there will be Middle Eastern Cuisine, beverages, entertainment, and hosted by a very special friend from Hollywood California - Omarosa Manigault-Stallworth, The Apprentice and now the Celebrity Apprentice with Donald Trump - Omarosa Official Website – and assisted by the Lady Angels Marketing Team - Welcome to PartyWithTheAngels.com - Home of the Lady Angels Marketing Team!

Please join us and help in our efforts to continue our campaign to reduce violence and gun violence during these difficult economic times.

The Steering Committee is chaired by Ms. Guileine F. Kraft, a Doctoral Candidate at The National Catholic School of Social Service of The Catholic University of America and the invitation is attached for your review and RSVP.

For more information or to contribute contact Guileine Kraft at guikraft@yahoo.com

Til next time...